INTRODUCTORY COURSE IN THE AWESOMENESS OF METAL YAAAH DUDES TEH HORNS

So yeah, I get it, this whole metal obsession I have is probably a bit baffling and confusing and should I go so far to say UNSETTLING given my terribly advanced age and obvious deep interest in the classier side of life (I have been drinking fancy beers of late sometimes and I own a house and all that grownup stuff). So I understand how this metal thing might be perhaps a bit challenging to your perception of me as a well known blogger that enjoys the finer blog-centric aspects of life, like windsurfing and my stable of finely pedigreed draft horses and such.

Trust me, I am as confused as you are.

So it would be easy to offer the modernistic technorchestral stylings of Ulver or perhaps the art (bears) rock (against rock) stylings of the unimpeachable Sleepytime Gorilla Museum but c'mon yawn this isn't going to topple any of your preconceptions about that ugly little jean-vested cousin of rock that throws up horns behind the high school tennis courts and says meekly "oh hey I am metal it is OK if you aren't really in the mood for me, I get it, and besides there is an unopened pack of Magic The Gathering cards I must attend to."

SO
for them I think it is time that we shed all our postmodern semi-appreciation whatsits and stop fronting and cuddle up to fantastic ugly messes like Mastodon (oh hey the new album is not quite so METAL btw, but this has all that THIN LIZZY stuff the tru metal dudes love) and the unpronounceable band name sludge-monkey stylings of Torche. Oh and to quiet the death to false metal crowd, here is Olympia Washingtons contribution to the 2nd (3rd? 4th?) wave of black metal Wolves In The Throne Room.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE METAL LABELS DUUUUUUDES
ULVER
SLEEPYTIME GORILLA MUSEUM
MASTODON IS STILL WORTH LISTENING TO I PROMISE
TORCHE SHOULD PROBABLY GET OFF THEIR ASS AND HAVE MORE THAN A MYSPACE SITE
WOLVES IN THE THRONE ROOM (WHO DEFINITELY LIED ABOUT THAT "VINYL ONLY EP" THING.) I STILL LOVE YOU, YOU JERKS.